My favorite movies

• Tootsie
  A brilliant take on human relationships, sexuality, gender identity and roles, and the trifecta centerpiece that underscores it all, compassion, humor and humility. Michael Dorsay (Dustin Hoffman) is an unemployed actor in New York, and through a series of unexpected events, gets cast as a woman on a daytime drama. His transformation into "Dorothy Michaels" is fascinating as he literally "walks in a woman's shoes" and embarks on a very revealing personal journey. Julie Nichols (Jessica Lange) is a cast member on the daytime drama as well, and the friendship that evolves between she and Dorothy is complex and satisfying, and yet also humorous since we're "in" on the conceit. One of the funniest and most touching movies you'll ever see. Hoffman's performance is genius, Lange is sublime. (If you become a real fan, you'll want to memorize the staircase scene at the end.)



• Star Wars series
  As a 9-year old, Star Wars captivated me and every other soul breathing at that time. But what is it about this series that so captivated people? Yes, it was the whole sci-fi/special effects angle, but I think the family drama provides many flashes of recognition for us all. And George Lucas is a magician, the way he manages to morph Vader from innocence to evil to compassion. Remember the scene in Jedi when Luke is calmly pleading with his father, "I know there's good in you..." And Lucas somehow manages to evoke tenderness from this "monster" - watch it again, you'll be amazed.



• Sophie's Choice
  I was so drawn to this movie, even as a young teenager. Movies that dealt with the Holocaust were of interest to me; I just couldn't fathom it. I think Streep's Sophie is truly sublime - a masterpiece of vulnerability and strength. Even before I had a child, I was completely destroyed by this movie's premise. You'll find yourself gasping for breath. Not to be missed.




• The Unbearable Lightness of Being
  I saw this movie during my junior year in college (1989), and I was so blown away. It was an especially vulnerable time for me in my own exploration of identity. I will always identify with the core conflicts of intimacy in this movie. That is, what is "intimacy"? How do we define it? How do we engage in intimacy? Are there boundaries we shouldn't cross, and what if we do? Can we achieve fulfillment in life without intimacy? Is there such a thing as non-monogamous intimacy, or is that a contradiction in terms? Can "non-sexual" intimacy be just as fulfilling as "sexual" intimacy? The time/place setting of this movie is particularly relevant, I think, in terms of shining light on the "personal is the political" philosophy, as it takes place during the 1968 Russian invasion of Prague. And the "ballet of eroticism" (as Ebert calls it) between Sabina and Tereza is truly masterful filmmaking. Another film not to be missed. "Life's so light. It's like an outline you can't ever fill in or make any better." Tomas
  




• The Sopranos

Yes, "The Sopranos" is a tv series, not a movie; but in terms of character development and overall quality of writing, the series is arguably on par with the best movies. I find the characters to be almost Shakespearean in terms of contradictions. Here you have Tony Soprano, the most feared and powerful Mob boss, who has, on multiple occasions, committed horrific and repugnant acts (where shall I begin? How about with murder and adultery.)

And yet, he has this remarkable sensitivity to certain things. For example, his fondness for animals. The series begins with the tenderness he displays for ducks in his backyard; he develops an intense fondness for these ducks, and is truly saddened when they leave. Or, horses. Tony is devastated when he learns that a barn fire has killed a number of horses. When he realizes that Ralph set the barn on fire, his grief evolves into fury, which leads him to kill Ralph in a fit of rage.

Tony also has a certain moral compass in terms of how "family" is "supposed" to be; unfailing, devoted, completely loyal, respecting elders, cherishing and spoiling children. He rationalizes his cheating on Carmela that he has her complicit approval. And it's not entirely a rationalization; Carmela actually confesses to Father Intintola that she "looks past" Tony's infidelities, in exchange for all that she "gets" (a lovely home, cars, furs, jewelry, vacations to Paris: and of course the status as the Boss's wife). The "code" that Tony, his family, and his "soldiers" live by is exacting and non-negotiable. To a great extent, this is the "moral compass" that drives him.

And then there are some absurdly petty things that Tony seems to care about; for example, the young man in the restaurant, dining with his baseball cap on. This annoyed Tony enough that he approached the young man and "strongly suggested" that he might want to remove the hat. Was this just a brute show of force for the sake of it? No, I don't think so; I think Tony really was annoyed that a man would be disrespectful enough to wear a baseball cap in an upscale restaurant. Or how about Tony's faithfulness to the Sunday evening meal. He may miss dinner during the week ("...that's what microwaves are for: inconsiderate husbands"), but he never misses Sunday dinner with the extended family.

And then there is Christopher; also a morally repugnant character to a large extent. And yet, he has a love for cinema that rivals my own. Christopher is convinced that he could be a screen writer, and early in the series, he begins work on a screenplay on his ThinkPad. (Yes, it's a Mob drama, but with sci/fi twist!) Christopher becomes obsessed with finding an "arc," and is very frustrated by how disinterested his Mob counterparts are in his screenwriting pursuits. (At one point, he attempted to share his quandaries with his "arc" development to Pussy (...to be continued).


• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  


How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!The world forgetting, by the world forgot.Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd. -- Alexander Pope, "Eloisa to Abelard"

• The Hours


• Lost in Translation
  A wonderful, if atypical, romance/comedy, Sofia Coppola's "Lost in Translation" is a dead-on portrayal of two lost souls who unexpectedly find intimacy in each other. "Bob" (Bill Murray), a washed-up middle-aged actor on location in Tokyo, meets "Charlotte" (Scarlett Johansson) a young newlywed accompanying her husband on assignment. Charlotte finds herself in a very dark place because she is alienated from her disengaged husband; and she's unconsoled by the beauty and wonder of Japan. Bob and Charlotte become close companions, though never actually consummate the relationship. Yet the relationship is not diminished (and is maybe even enhanced) by the lack of consummation. Murray exhibits his usual understated comedic brilliance. The ending is heart-breaking and yet fulfilling, because we know both characters have been enriched by their brief yet intimate friendship.
  
  
• Transamerica
  
  
• Bend it Like Beckham
  


A hugely entertaining film about two teen-age girls who are "all about" soccer, each with their own distinct struggles, yet who find friendship in each other. Set in London, the film is centered around a girl from a traditional Indian family; her mom is driven to teach her to cook and to marry her off to a nice young Indian boy. The other girl is a local Londoner, whose Dad is delighted with her soccer pursuits (because, he thinks, she'll spend less time thinking about boys), while her mother is terrified that her "jockness" must mean that she's a lesbian (she isn't). The two soccer friends come of age, despite the inevitable trials. Funny and touching and engaging.

Many more to come...