A quote from my grandfather

God rest his soul, my maternal grandfather, William Downs (aka Bill), had a penchant for sayings that tell it like it is. One of his favorites was:

"Nothing is very good or very bad for very long."

Now, this may seem trite. But ponder it for a minute. I think it's fundamentally true. But if I were to quibble with it, here is my rationale:

* Truly ecstatic experiences are infrequent and short-lived. (Think of your latest orgasm. And the one before that. And the one before that. Notice a pattern? Or how about your honeymoon? Geez, that went by quick, right?) This, I believe, may explain our addictions; we're always trying to make it all better, for a longer period of time. We're frequently chasing that elusive state of feeling "very good." (What are the things that make us feel "very good"? Hmmm, the short list is, of course, sex, drugs and rock-and-roll. Then as we get older, we realize this short-list no longer fulfills us - for very long.)

* Truly awful experiences are also equally infrequent, but perhaps not as short-lived. (Think of something awful that happened to you recently; what was it? A car wreck? Yes, that would definitely put a damper on your day, but as long as you're not terribly injured, you move on eventually. Or how about those things you learn about from the "dreaded phone call" - a loved one is sick, dying, or has died. The impact of these events are not at all short-lived, but fortunately, are relatively rare.)

So, I think when my grandfather said, "Nothing is very good or very bad for very long," he was speaking at a very granular level. That even during hard times (a dying loved one, facing unemployment and foreclosure, a sick child), there are glimmers of ecstasy. And even during periods of utter delight, there are twinges of sadness or at least ambivalence.

I think what he was saying is this: that life ebbs and flows, and that the majority of our daily routine is spent facing the mundane realities of life. And that's OK. The only sustainable model, in fact, is one in which "nothing is very good or very bad for very long."

When we are really sick or injured, and then recover, we realize how good we feel most of the time.

When a friendship expires and causes us sadness and remorse, we savor the fond memories and grow from it.

When we don't get that promotion we'd worked so hard for, we decide to consider other options that we may not have considered otherwise.

When we try to enter this door, but find it is locked, we notice that another one is open.