Lesbian "Mythbusters"

The "Mythbusters" are two guys (Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage) that basically take it upon themselves to debunk myths. (They have a show on the Discovery Channel.) According to Wikipedia, Jamie and Adam "...use their skills and expertise to test the validity of various rumors and urban legends in popular culture." They are like truth seekers; they like to challenge what people just accept as "true." Well, here's my attempt at debunking some "lesbian" myths:

• "Lesbians hate men"

Ugh, I hate this myth. We do NOT hate men! Some of our best friends are men! Many of us actually adore men! Our families are filled with wonderful men: ever heard of fathers, brothers, sons, uncles, and cousins? Now, some lesbians might hate men; but some straight women hate men, too. Most lesbians are perfectly fine with liking men; it's just that we don't want to have sex with them. It's really that simple. From there, it just depends on the individual relationship we have with each given man.


• "Lesbians are strange; I don't know any lesbians!"

The fact is, lesbians span the broad spectrum of humanity. You may have convinced yourself that you don't know any lesbians, but unless you live in a remote corner of the earth and are strictly home-bound, you probably know at least one lesbian. Enjoy!


• "Lesbians are so severe-looking; they shave their heads!"

Well, yes, some lesbians do shave their heads. And ride Harleys (ever heard of "Dykes on Bikes"?). And have multiple tatoos and piercings, and wouldn't be caught dead wearing anything but black and chains. Then there are those average-looking, regular, every day (boring) lesbians, that blend right into the crowd. Again, that "broad spectrum of humanity" thing. (Oh, and have you ever heard of Britney Spears? She shaved her head, and last I heard, she's not a lesbian.)


• "Lesbians are ugly and are gay because they can't get a man"

I can't bring myself to even address this myth. Would you characterize Portia di Rossi as "ugly"? Anyway, just remember that the cliche of beauty being in the "eye of the beholder" is true.


• "Lesbians are butch and really good with power tools"

I hate to sound like a broken record, but I'm going to sound like a broken record: it's that "broad spectrum of humanity" thing again. Yes, some lesbians are good with power tools and wear fannie packs because it reminds them of their toolbelts. But for some other lesbians, this is their idea of a toolkit:





















• "In lesbian relationships, one of them plays the 'man'"

Are people that limited in their range of thinking that a 'man/woman' coupling is the only viable relationship model? The fact is, each lesbian brings to the relationship what she brings to the relationship. Yes, some are "butch" and some are "femme" - but these are overly used stereotypes; we don't all fit neatly into a category of "butch" or "femme". Actually, I'm more convinced that each of us (that is, each person - not just each lesbian) has both "butch" and "femme" characteristics.


• "Lesbian couples experience 'bed death'"

This myth basically implies that lesbian couples completely stop having sex. Well, yes, probably some do. But this circumstance is certainly not unique to lesbian couples. Many straight couples suffer through droughts as well. If I were a betting woman, I'd bet that more lesbian couples would be willing to cope with a celibate relationship than straight couples, which may be the cause of the 'bed death' label for lesbians. But I have a theory, that has nothing to do with sexual orientation, that 99.99% of break-ups (regardless of whether it's a straight or gay couple) are caused by difficulties in the bedroom combined with an unwillingness of one or both parties to strive to fix it.


• "Lesbians want to have sex with every woman they meet"

Where do these myths come from? This one is completely absurd. No, we don't want to sleep with every woman we meet. As an analogy, do straight women want to sleep with every man they meet? Actually, this is a very personal thing for each person (regardless of sexual orientation). Yes, some lesbians might have a particular penchant to get to know lots of women on a sexual basis. But you know what? I bet there are some straight men that fit into this category as well.


• "Lesbians can't have children"

Total myth; the efficacy of lesbians' reproductive systems is the exact same as straight women's. In fact, there is a veritable baby boom of lesbians having biological children. (I got pregnant on the very first try; and I don't like to call it "artificial" insemination, because technically there's nothing "artificial" about the actual insemination.)

Any more myths you'd like me to bust? Let me know, I'd be glad to.


Anyway, have you noticed any trends in all these "myths"? Stereotypes are a convenient vehicle for diminishing our humanity. Lesbians may be this or that (or may not be), but I'd like to underscore that we are human and so are as varied and unique as the rest of humanity.