Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Jean/Diane and Sidney: A Gen X/Millennial Love Story

The 2017 Netflix series "Gypsy" is a fascinating case study of how two women from different generations approach self-identity, sexuality and relationships. The woman of the "Gen X" generation (likely born in the late 1960's or early 1970's) is Jean Holloway (aka "Diane"), a successful therapist working in Manhattan and living in Fairfield County, Connecticut. She and her husband Michael, an attorney, have a nine year old daughter named Dolly.
Dr. Jean Holloway (played by Naomi Watts)
The woman of the “Millennial” generation is Sidney Pierce (likely born in the early 1990's), a barista chasing the dream of making it big with her band.
Sid Pierce (played by Sophie Cookson)
She is single, lives in Bushwick, and works at a coffee shop in lower Manhattan. 

Through information she garners during her therapy sessions, Jean/Diane becomes intrigued with a patient’s ex-girlfriend (who just happens to be Sid). She is so intrigued that she conspires to meet Sid at the coffee shop where she works, introducing herself as an alternate persona (“Diane”). A spark immediately ignites between them 🔥.
Jean/Diane visits Sid's coffee shop
Sid flirts with Jean/Diane
Much of the drama throughout the 10 episodes focuses on the clandestine relationship that evolves between Jean/Diane and Sid.

When You Were Born Makes All the Difference

As a Gen X’er, Jean/Diane grew up during the tumultuous 1970's and early 1980's, an era of much cultural and social upheaval. One of the most profound transformations of the era was the women’s liberation movement, as well as the related sexual revolution. With the advent of the birth control pill in the 1960's, women for the first time in history had access to birth control. This had a profound effect on women’s lives, as an aspect of personal agency. A symptom of the sexual revolution was an increase in the divorce rate, and thus children growing up in broken homes (often resulting in estrangement from the father). My own life is almost a clichéd characterization of Gen X; I was born in the fall of 1968; my parents divorced when I was 9. I was definitely a latchkey kid, and I was somewhat estranged from my father.

Gen X and Gay Liberation

My experience as a teenager and young adult of the Gen X generation was filtered through the cultural and societal norms of the time. Gay liberation was still a fledgling enterprise that hadn’t made dramatic inroads yet (no gays serving in the military legally, and certainly no gay marriage or even civil unions). Civil rights for the LGBT community were still caught in the awkward fits and starts of social progress. Though the queens of the Stonewall riots launched a revolution in 1969 to champion gay rights, it wasn’t until decades later that their personal courage manifested as cultural and legal acceptance for the LGBT community.
Queens at the Stonewall Riots of 1969, NYC
And of course, the AIDS crisis of the 1980's devastated the gay community, just as we were beginning to make progress on cultural and legal acceptance. For me personally, I was subject to the cultural taboo of gayness, which was deeply alienating and profoundly confusing for a girl quite certain that she is gay. Coming from a relatively conservative family (my parents were recovering Catholics from the mid-West), being gay wasn’t something that was “normal” or “accepted.” It was tainted with an “otherness” that colored my entire world view. It wasn’t until my college years in the late 1980's that I started reading feminist literature and truly got in touch, so to speak, with my lesbian identity (i.e., had my first girlfriend and bought my first pair of Docs).

Who Are You as a Gen X'er?

Jean/Diane is clearly a product of the Gen X generation. Growing up in the 1970's and early 1980's in upstate New York and Connecticut, where "normal" is the only acceptable avenue, she likely absorbed all the messaging of the time, in which gayness was on the margins of society. There were few images of lesbians or bisexual women in the media or in popular culture. Remember the era; this was before Melissa Etheridge released her not-so-subtle eponymous album about the trials of lesbian love (1986).
The cover of Melissa Etheridge's first album
This was before Ellen rocked the world by coming out on her TV show and then dishing to Oprah (1997); this was before Rosie O’Donnell came out (2002). And it was long before the L Word (2004), long before the emergence of Ruby Rose’s sexually fluid identity (2012), and long before Ellen Page came out (2014). This was also long before Lindsey Lohan declared, regarding her relationship with Samantha Ronson, “yeah, I like a girl; And?” (2009). This was also long before Miley Cyrus described herself as “pansexual” and had a casual dalliance with Victoria’s Secret model Stella Maxwell (2015).

And can you imagine, if in the early 1980's, a Hollywood "It girl" casually announced, during her opening monologue hosting Saturday Night Live, that she is "so gay"? And imagine that this same Hollywood star started dating a Victoria Secret's model named Stella Maxwell. Well, that's exactly what Hollywood "It girl" Kristen Stewart has done (in 2017, that is; not in the 1980's).
Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell
It’s difficult to characterize, but the lack of positive images of lesbians in the cultural milieu undoubtedly had a profound influence on Jean/Diane as she came of age. What we don’t know is the impact that Jean/Diane’s family may have had on her identity as she was growing up, though it seems likely that she was strongly influenced by a domineering mother and an absent father. It's difficult to overestimate how profoundly Jean/Diane was influenced by her family's values and the culture in which she was raised.
Jean/Diane's mom (played by Blythe Danner)
For Jean/Diane, she had chosen the traditional path of marriage to a man and family. In mid-life, she is finally embracing the idea of a sexually fluid identity. She struggles with the shame associated with her emerging feelings for another woman; the seeds of these struggles were likely sown when she was a girl. Sid awakens in her a deeply repressed sexuality that is bubbling beneath the surface, yearning to break through at the slightest provocation.

To cope with the insecurity about her feelings, she adopts an alternate persona and presents herself to Sid as “Diane,” a single woman working as a journalist. Jean/Diane is very self-conscious about public displays of affection with Sid. In a cafe one afternoon, Sid unsuccessfully tries to kiss Diane. Despite signals that she could be open to it, Diane hesitates and withdraws from Sid when she tries to kiss her. For a Gen X woman from a conservative family, the shame and insecurity is difficult to overcome. Even though Sid assures her that “we’re not doing anything wrong” and that “nobody gives a shit,” Diane wrestles with her feelings and struggles with the meaning of her desire for Sid.
Sid tries to steal a kiss at the cafe
Jean isn't comfortable with Sid's public display of affection
As their dalliance progresses, Diane’s struggles continue. She is compelled to seek out Sid at the rehearsal studio, but then when she sees her, she informs her that she “can’t do this anymore.”
She crashes Sid's rehearsal, but can't admit she wants to see her
Sid isn't sure what "this" is, because they haven't done much more than play an elaborate game of cat-and-mouse so far. She is frustrated by what she perceives as Diane’s lack of honesty about the obvious sexual tension between them.
Sid has just about had it with Jean/Diane's unwillingness to admit she's in to her
This is an example of their different approaches; while Diane is reticent in the face of such burgeoning sexual tension, and vacillates between being "all in" and escaping, Sid is bold and “goes after what she wants.”

As Jean/Diane grapples further with this push-pull force she feels towards Sid, she experiences glimpses of confidence. In fact it was Jean/Diane who kissed Sid first, randomly showing up outside the rehearsal studio and surprising Sid with a rather intimate kiss.
Jean/Diane boldly goes there
Afterwards, Sid is rather blown away by Jean/Diane's newfound boldness.
Sid is awestruck
As her trust grows, Jean/Diane feels more comfortable in revealing her feelings to Sid. Diane confides in her that growing up, she had never had any girl crushes. 

It didn’t really work that way for me; I mean, yeah, I was always into men,” Jean/Diane tells Sid.
Jean/Diane confides in Sid as they toke it up (shotgun kiss coming!)
What isn’t clear is whether Jean/Diane never had any girl crushes because she was conditioned by her family and culture not to, or whether she genuinely just didn’t have those feelings. Jean/Diane herself is puzzled by this question, remarking, 

I just think if you’re so focused on what you should feel, you don't really know what it is you do feel.”

Was Jean/Diane so influenced by familial and cultural conditioning to feel what she “should” feel that she deeply repressed her authentic sexual nature? It’s quite likely. What is evident is that Sid awakened an authentic force within Diane that had been repressed for decades, and thus the force was all the more ferocious and potent when it emerged.

Who Are You as a Millennial?

Sid’s attitudes and behaviors are clearly a product of the Millennial generation. She frequently declares the Millennial refrain "You only live once," and her devil-may-care attitude certainly reflects this approach to life. She has none of the emotional and psychological baggage that burdens Jean/Diane. Unlike Jean/Diane, Sid is comfortable with openly expressing her sexuality; it would be unnatural for her to dismiss her impulses. 

For Sid, it was perfectly natural to have a serious "madly in love" crush on a woman (specifically, on her 8th grade social studies teacher). (The way Sid describes it, it sounds borderline obsessive.) Sid grew up in a much more progressive culture; one in which gayness is generally accepted, positive gay images are widespread, and marriage equality evolved to become the norm. (If you’d told me in 1990 that marriage equality would be the law of the land 25 years later, I would’ve responded with a resounding “no way!”)  Sid has the advantage of being more in touch with her feelings, desires and emotions, because she matured in an entirely different cultural milieu than Jean/Diane did. 

Sid’s sexual identity is fluid; she dates and has sex with men and women. Her gender expression, though predominately feminine, is also fluid, as she often wears classic lesbian fashion, and behaves in an aggressive manner (for example, telling her male colleague to “suck my dick” as an insult).

Sid even professes to have a thing for older women; this makes Jean/Diane quite appealing to her. (The fact that Jean/Diane is a "lesbian virgin" makes her even more appealing to Sid as a sexual conquest). At one point, Sid makes fun of their age difference, teasing Jean/Diane: 

So have you always been into robbing the cradle?” 

Sid gives Jean/Diane a shotgun kiss
Sid has a sense of humor about sexuality, fostered by her openness and frankness about it. Jean/Diane finds her openness and frankness intriguing and appealing.

Though some critics have savaged the Jean/Diane character for being morally adrift, and perhaps even a sociopath, I completely disagree with this assessment. I have a deep sense of compassion for the Jean/Diane character. Her struggles with her burgeoning identity deserve our compassion rather than our judgment and scorn. In my mind, she is a product of a repressed coming of age. 

Jean/Diane is only able to tap into her genuine feelings through an unlikely alchemy of a particularly charismatic young woman and an evolved, more progressive, gay-friendly culture. And now that those feelings have been unleashed, there is no way for Jean/Diane to “go back” to the way she was before she met Sid. In episode 10, Jean/Diane finds herself in the unenviable position of having to reckon with both her infidelity, as well as her newly aroused sexual feelings for another woman. To the dismay of legions of LGBT Gypsy fans, she seems to be leaning towards reconciliation with her husband. 

In a bizarre twist, Sid and Jean/Diane crash Sid's ex-boyfriend's engagement party. At one point during her conversation with Sid, Jean/Diane suggests to Sid that she ought to consider reuniting with her ex-boyfriend Sam.
Jean/Diane retreats from Sid
Of course, Sid is aghast and utterly crestfallen by her suggestion and its implications. For Sid, her powerful feelings for Jean/Diane are all-encompassing; reuniting with Sam is not an option and should not be in the realm of the conversation. This is a serious red flag for Sid and causes her distress.
Sid can sense Jean/Diane's retreat and is devastated
This situation between Jean/Diane and Sid is an artifact of two different generations of women and their inherent attitudes, behaviors and baggage. For Jean/Diane, the crushing effect of sexual repression victimizes both herself and Sid, and threatens to destroy their fledgling relationship. 

Unfortunately, the story line between Jean/Diane and Sid will remain untold, unless Netflix decides to reverse its decision of cancelling the series (or, in an even more unlikely scenario, another streaming platform or cable channel picks it up). 

If you're interesting in how the story unfolds, there are avenues to make your voice heard:
  • Use the tvtime app to increase the visibility of Gypsy.
  • Call Netflix customer service at 1(866) 579-7172 and request season 2 of Gypsy.
  • Go into the Netflix help center and click "Request TV shows or movies." Then, enter "Gypsy season 2" for all three titles and then click Submit Suggestion.
  • Login to twitter and tweet to @netflix, @reedhastings (CEO of Netflix) and use the hashtags #renewGypsy #GypsyNetflix #BringBackGypsy



No comments: