The 2017 Netflix series "Gypsy" is a fascinating case study of how two
women from different generations approach self-identity, sexuality and
relationships. The woman of the "Gen X" generation (likely born in the late
1960's or early 1970's) is Jean Holloway (aka "Diane"), a successful therapist working in
Manhattan and living in Fairfield County, Connecticut.
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| Dr. Jean Holloway (played by Naomi Watts) |
The woman of the “Millennial” generation is Sidney Pierce (likely
born in the early 1990's), a barista chasing the dream of making it big with her
band.
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| Sid Pierce (played by Sophie Cookson) |
She is single, lives in Bushwick, and works at a coffee shop
in lower Manhattan.
Through information she garners during her therapy sessions,
Jean/Diane becomes intrigued with a patient’s ex-girlfriend (who just happens to be Sid). She is so
intrigued that she conspires to meet Sid at the coffee shop where she works,
introducing herself as an alternate persona (“Diane”). A spark immediately ignites between them 🔥.
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| Jean/Diane visits Sid's coffee shop |
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| Sid flirts with Jean/Diane |
Much of the drama throughout the 10 episodes focuses on the
clandestine relationship that evolves between Jean/Diane and Sid.
When You Were Born Makes All the Difference
As a Gen X’er, Jean/Diane grew up during the tumultuous 1970's and
early 1980's, an era of much cultural and social upheaval. One of the most
profound transformations of the era was the women’s liberation movement, as well as the related sexual revolution. With the advent of the birth control pill in the 1960's,
women for the first time in history had access to birth control. This had a
profound effect on women’s lives, as an aspect of personal agency. A symptom of
the sexual revolution was an increase in the divorce rate, and thus children
growing up in broken homes (often resulting in estrangement from the father).
My own life is almost a clichéd characterization of Gen X; I was born in the
fall of 1968; my parents divorced when I was 9. I was definitely a latchkey
kid, and I was somewhat estranged from my father.
Gen X and Gay Liberation
My experience as a teenager and young adult of the Gen X generation
was filtered through the cultural and societal norms of the time. Gay
liberation was still a fledgling enterprise that hadn’t made dramatic inroads
yet (no gays serving in the military legally, and certainly no gay marriage or even civil unions). Civil rights for the LGBT community were still caught in the awkward fits and starts of social progress. Though the
queens of the Stonewall riots launched a revolution in 1969 to champion gay
rights, it wasn’t until decades later that their personal courage manifested as
cultural and legal acceptance for the LGBT community.
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| Queens at the Stonewall Riots of 1969, NYC |
And of course, the AIDS crisis of the 1980's devastated the
gay community, just as we were beginning to make progress on cultural and legal
acceptance. For me personally, I was subject to the cultural taboo of gayness,
which was deeply alienating and profoundly confusing for a girl quite certain that she
is gay. Coming from a relatively conservative family (my parents were recovering Catholics from the mid-West), being gay wasn’t
something that was “normal” or “accepted.” It was tainted with an “otherness”
that colored my entire world view. It wasn’t until my college years in the late
1980's that I started reading feminist literature and truly got in touch, so to
speak, with my lesbian identity (i.e., had my first girlfriend and bought my
first pair of Docs).
Who Are You as a Gen X'er?
Jean/Diane is clearly a product of the Gen X generation. Growing
up in the 1970's and early 1980's in upstate New York and Connecticut, where "normal" is the only acceptable avenue, she likely
absorbed all the messaging of the time, in which gayness was on the margins of
society. There were few images of lesbians or bisexual women in the media or in popular culture.
Remember the era; this was before Melissa Etheridge released her not-so-subtle eponymous
album about the trials of lesbian love (1986).
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| The cover of Melissa Etheridge's first album |
This was before Ellen rocked the world by coming out on her
TV show and then dishing to Oprah (1997); this was before Rosie O’Donnell came
out (2002). And it was long before the L Word (2004), long before the emergence
of Ruby Rose’s sexually fluid identity (2012), and long before Ellen Page came
out (2014). This was also long before Lindsey Lohan declared, regarding her
relationship with Samantha Ronson, “yeah, I like a girl; And?” (2009). This was
also long before Miley Cyrus described herself as “pansexual” and had a casual dalliance
with Victoria’s Secret model Stella Maxwell (2015).
And can you imagine, if in the early 1980's, a Hollywood "It girl" casually announced, during her opening monologue hosting Saturday Night Live, that she is "so gay"? And imagine that this same Hollywood star started dating a Victoria Secret's model named Stella Maxwell. Well, that's exactly what Hollywood "It girl" Kristen Stewart has done (in 2017, that is; not in the 1980's).
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| Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell |
It’s difficult to characterize, but the lack of positive
images of lesbians in the cultural milieu undoubtedly had a profound influence
on Jean/Diane as she came of age. What we don’t know is the impact that Jean/Diane’s family
may have had on her identity as she was growing up, though it seems likely that
she was strongly influenced by a domineering mother and an absent father. It's difficult to overestimate how profoundly Jean/Diane was influenced by her family's values and the culture in which she was raised.
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| Jean/Diane's mom (played by Blythe Danner) |
For Jean/Diane, she had chosen the traditional path of marriage to a man and family. In mid-life, she is finally embracing the idea of
a sexually fluid identity. She struggles with the shame associated with her
emerging feelings for another woman; the seeds of these struggles were likely sown
when she was a girl. Sid awakens in her a deeply repressed sexuality that is
bubbling beneath the surface, yearning to break through at the slightest provocation.
To cope with the insecurity about her feelings,
she adopts an alternate persona and presents herself to Sid as “Diane,” a
single woman working as a journalist. Jean/Diane is very self-conscious about public
displays of affection with Sid. In a cafe one afternoon, Sid unsuccessfully
tries to kiss Diane. Despite signals that she could be open to it, Diane
hesitates and withdraws from Sid when she tries to kiss her. For a Gen X woman
from a conservative family, the shame and insecurity is difficult to overcome.
Even though Sid assures her that “we’re not doing anything wrong” and that “nobody
gives a shit,” Diane wrestles with her feelings and struggles with the meaning
of her desire for Sid.
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| Sid tries to steal a kiss at the cafe |
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| Jean isn't comfortable with Sid's public display of affection |
As their dalliance progresses, Diane’s struggles continue.
She is compelled to seek out Sid at the rehearsal studio, but then when she
sees her, she informs her that she “can’t do this anymore.”
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| She crashes Sid's rehearsal, but can't admit she wants to see her |
Sid isn't sure what "this" is, because they haven't done much more than play an elaborate game of cat-and-mouse so far. She is frustrated by what she perceives as Diane’s lack of
honesty about the obvious sexual tension between them.
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| Sid has just about had it with Jean/Diane's unwillingness to admit she's in to her |
This is an example of their different approaches; while
Diane is reticent in the face of such burgeoning sexual tension, and vacillates between being "all in" and escaping, Sid is bold
and “goes after what she wants.”
As Jean/Diane grapples further with this push-pull force she
feels towards Sid, she experiences glimpses of confidence. In fact it was Jean/Diane who kissed Sid first, randomly showing up outside the
rehearsal studio and surprising Sid with a rather intimate kiss.
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| Jean/Diane boldly goes there |
Afterwards, Sid is rather blown away by Jean/Diane's newfound boldness.
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| Sid is awestruck |
As her trust grows, Jean/Diane feels more comfortable in revealing
her feelings to Sid. Diane confides in her that growing up, she had never had any girl crushes.
“It didn’t really work that way for me; I mean, yeah, I was always into men,” Jean/Diane tells
Sid.
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| Jean/Diane confides in Sid as they toke it up (shotgun kiss coming!) |
What isn’t clear is whether Jean/Diane never had any girl crushes
because she was conditioned by her family and culture not to, or whether she
genuinely just didn’t have those feelings. Jean/Diane herself is puzzled by this question, remarking,
“I just think if you’re so focused on what you should feel, you don't really know what it is you do feel.”
Was Jean/Diane so influenced by familial and cultural conditioning
to feel what she “should” feel that she deeply repressed her authentic sexual
nature? It’s quite likely. What is evident is that Sid awakened an authentic
force within Diane that had been repressed for decades, and thus the force was all the
more ferocious and potent when it emerged.
Who Are You as a Millennial?
Sid’s attitudes and behaviors are clearly a product of the Millennial
generation. She frequently declares the Millennial refrain "You only live once," and her devil-may-care attitude certainly reflects this approach to life. She has none of the emotional and psychological baggage that
burdens Jean/Diane. Unlike Jean/Diane, Sid is comfortable with openly expressing her sexuality; it would be
unnatural for her to dismiss her impulses.
For Sid, it was perfectly natural to
have a serious "madly in love" crush on a woman (specifically, on her 8th grade
social studies teacher). (The way Sid describes it, it sounds borderline obsessive.) Sid grew up in a much more
progressive culture; one in which gayness is generally accepted, positive gay
images are widespread, and marriage equality evolved to become the norm. (If
you’d told me in 1990 that marriage equality would be the law of the land 25 years later, I would’ve responded with a resounding “no way!”) Sid has the advantage of being more in touch
with her feelings, desires and emotions, because she matured in an entirely
different cultural milieu than Jean/Diane did.
Sid’s sexual identity is fluid; she
dates and has sex with men and women. Her gender expression, though
predominately feminine, is also fluid, as she often wears classic lesbian
fashion, and behaves in an aggressive manner (for example, telling her male
colleague to “suck my dick” as an insult).
Sid even professes to have a thing for older women; this makes Jean/Diane quite appealing to her. (The fact that Jean/Diane is a "lesbian virgin" makes her even more appealing to Sid as a sexual conquest). At one point, Sid makes fun of their age difference, teasing Jean/Diane:
“So have you always been into robbing the
cradle?”
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| Sid gives Jean/Diane a shotgun kiss |
Sid has a sense of humor about sexuality, fostered by her openness and
frankness about it. Jean/Diane finds her openness and frankness intriguing and
appealing.
Though some critics have savaged the Jean/Diane character for being morally adrift, and perhaps even a sociopath, I completely disagree with
this assessment. I have a deep sense of compassion for the Jean/Diane
character. Her struggles with her burgeoning identity deserve our compassion rather than our judgment and scorn. In my
mind, she is a product of a repressed coming of age.
Jean/Diane is only able to tap
into her genuine feelings through an unlikely alchemy of a particularly
charismatic young woman and an evolved, more progressive, gay-friendly culture. And now that those feelings have been
unleashed, there is no way for Jean/Diane to “go back” to the way she was before
she met Sid. In episode 10, Jean/Diane finds herself in the unenviable
position of having to reckon with both her infidelity, as well as her newly
aroused sexual feelings for another woman. To the dismay of legions of LGBT Gypsy fans, she seems to be leaning towards reconciliation
with her husband.
In a bizarre twist, Sid and Jean/Diane crash Sid's ex-boyfriend's engagement party. At one point during her conversation with Sid, Jean/Diane suggests to Sid that she ought to consider reuniting
with her ex-boyfriend Sam.
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| Jean/Diane retreats from Sid |
Of course, Sid is aghast and utterly crestfallen by her suggestion and its
implications. For Sid, her powerful feelings for Jean/Diane are all-encompassing;
reuniting with Sam is not an option and should not be in the realm of the conversation. This is a serious red flag for Sid and causes her distress.
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| Sid can sense Jean/Diane's retreat and is devastated |
This situation between Jean/Diane and Sid is an artifact of two different generations of women and their inherent attitudes,
behaviors and baggage. For Jean/Diane, the crushing effect of sexual repression victimizes
both herself and Sid, and threatens to destroy their fledgling relationship.
Unfortunately, the story line between Jean/Diane and Sid will remain untold, unless Netflix decides to reverse its decision of cancelling the series (or, in an even more unlikely scenario, another streaming platform or cable channel picks it up).
If you're interesting in how the story unfolds, there are avenues to make your voice heard:
- Login to IMDB and take this poll; vote for Gypsy!
- Use the tvtime app to increase the visibility of Gypsy.
- Sign this petition to Bring Back Gypsy.
- Call Netflix customer service at 1(866) 579-7172 and request season 2 of Gypsy.
- Go into the Netflix help center and click "Request TV shows or movies." Then, enter "Gypsy season 2" for all three titles and then click Submit Suggestion.
- Login to twitter and tweet to @netflix, @reedhastings (CEO of Netflix) and use the hashtags #renewGypsy #GypsyNetflix #BringBackGypsy
- Join this Facebook group
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