I quit smoking on December 26, 2007. This time, for good. I have been smoking on-and-off since I was a teenager. Recently, I had quit in December of 2005, and hadn't smoked until April of this year (yes, a 16-month stint without a single drag; such long stints without smoking were not uncommon for me).
What prompted this recent cessation? And why do I say "for good," this time? Well, I think a lot of it has to do with my phase in life. I am squarely in the "mid-life crisis" phase, approaching my 40th birthday. (And I haven't yet succumb to a red convertible.) Mid-life is often a time when people take stock of many things, including personal health. I fully realize, as Bill Clinton frequently says, that I likely have "more yesterdays than tomorrows." I have to take full responsibility for those behaviors that I CAN control that will impact my health. The science is not in question; smoking greatly increases the risks of serious and even fatal health complications.
Now, do I miss smoking? Unquestionably, I do. I don't believe I was "physically" addicted to nicotine, as I quit cold-turkey (as I always have, with no 'cessation devices'), and I suffered none of the common physical withdrawal symptoms. But I miss the sensation of striking a match and taking that first drag (especially after a meal). I miss the oral occupation. I miss the time of "reflection" I often had when standing outside with a cigarette (as of course, these days, smokers are relegated to the outdoors). I miss the social camaraderie with other smokers in the "smoker's hut" at work. I miss how a cigarette can be a comforting experience, a brief "break from it all," when it seems too much to cope with.
However, there are many things I don't miss. 5$ per pack (and lining the pockets of the disingenuous Corporate machines that manufacture cigarettes). The moral implications of spending money on an ill-conceived product, while millions starve. The way I reek of smoke and probably offend people. The discoloration of my hands and teeth. The time out of my day it takes to smoke (while certainly there are "better things" I could be doing). Even though I always responsibly disposed of the butts, knowing that I'm being "greener" by not contributing to the landfill. Not even to mention, the ill-effects the smoking has on my health.
So, I will need other coping mechanisms to fill the void. How else might I cope? Take a walk. Say a prayer. Meditate. Do yoga. And then gloat in my victory over cigarettes.
I quit smoking. But I believe I will always be "a smoker," even though I don't smoke anymore. I think humans derived great satisfaction from smoking tobacco, and enjoyed it for eons, before understanding all its negative aspects (and before many of its negative aspects emerged).
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
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